Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

March 4, 2013

Some people aren't creative with excuses

(Continued)

Another list that has circulated for years comes (supposedly) from a major insurance company.  Clients were asked to give a brief statement on an accident claim form describing what had happened.  

“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions,” wrote one bewildered driver.  

“The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.”  I’m sure this just didn’t come out quite like the author intended.  Surely not.  

“The telephone pole was approaching fast.  I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.”  And maybe the driver’s head?  You can’t help but wonder.  

“I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.”  Huh?  Hit me with an espresso, please, and quick, because I’m not getting this.    

“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian,” wrote another claimant.  By all means, let’s not dent the bumper.  But a civilian’s legs?  Oh, well.  

“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over,” another driver clarified.  At this rate, pedestrians will be the next species to head into extinction.  

“I was on my way to an appointment with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.”  OK.  I can identify with this in a very figurative sense.  Personally, I find that too little sleep and no caffeine will have my universal whatever-whatever giving way long before noon.  I know the feeling, buddy.  

“The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth,” complained another driver.  And unless I miss my guess, a very irritating finger that incited a case of road rage.  

Text Only
Life
  • GN140728 FAIR Presidents Baked Items multiberry crisp.jpg Multi-berry crisp claims fair president's award President Tim Yoder’s Baked Item this year was fruit crisp.Of the 20 entries, first place went to Sally Kyle of Goshen with her Multi-berry Crisp. FIRST PLACEMulti-berry CrispSally Kyle, Goshen1-1/2 cups flour3/4 cup brown sugar, packed1 stick cold b

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • GN140728 FAIR Anything Goes with Cabbage.jpg May Beane wins Anything Goes with Cabbage May Beane of Elkhart won the Anything Goes with Locally Grown Cabbage contest, sponsored by Sweet Corn Charlie Produce, Wednesday at the Elkhart County 4-H Fair.Twelve exhibitors entere 12 cabbage recipes.FIRST PLACEChicken Cabbage SaladMay Beane, El

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • GN140728 FAIR blueberries.jpg Bread pudding takes Bursting with Blueberries prize Former Goshen resident and current Gainesville, Texas, resident Diana Julien Sims’ recipe for Blueberry White Chocolate Bread Pudding with Amaretto Cream Sauce won the Bursting with Blueberries top prize at the Elkhart County 4-H Fair.The contest too

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Briefly GOSHENCripe reunion set for Aug. 16Anyone with an ancestor who was a Cripe is invited to attend the Cripe reunion Aug. 16 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at West Goshen Church of the Brethren, 1200 Berkey Ave. in Goshen.At 10 a.m., speaker Jerry Cripe will giv

    July 28, 2014

  • stephanie price column sig WHOLE FAMILY: Adapting a pledge I can truly honor “I solemnly pledge myself … in the presence of this assembly to practice my profession faithfully. I will safeguard my clients and the public when health care and safety are at stake. I vow to adhere to the legal and ethical principles of the profess

    July 27, 2014 1 Photo

  • THE NATURALIZED MID-AMERICAN: Master wood craftsman shows the inner beauty of trees I am still surprised by the beauty I see in these lengths of wood, and suppose I always will be. They are testament to the carefully-wrought, intricate, and deep craft of creation. They are testament to Don’s generous craftsmanship, too — for which I am very grateful — which was an expression of the joyful Craft that created him. He and those beautiful boards were cut from the same living tree.

    July 27, 2014

  • Briefly ELKHART‘Dog Daze of Summer’ Aug. 2The Pillars of Elkhart will host the fourth annual Dog Daze of SummerAug. 2 from 5 to 11 p.m. at the Civic Plaza in downtown Elkhart. Dog Daze will feature two local bands, High Gravity and MR Z Band. Hot Dog vendors

    July 27, 2014

  • GN140726 Queen Kaahumanu GLOBAL FAITHS: Hawaiians' conversion to Christianity helped women A recent trip to Hawaii to visit family drew my attention again to Hawaiian religion. Original Hawaiians are Polynesians who came to Hawaii from Tahiti, Samoa, Easter Island and other Pacific islands between 500 and 1300 A.D. These Hawaiians were polytheists who worshiped and built shrines to various nature deities. But on the big island of Hawaii they came to revere especially Pele, the fierce and violent goddess of volcanoes.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Briefly SYRACUSEThe Book of Job presentation Aug. 1The public is invited to experience the Book of Job at a one-man dramatization by the Rev. Dave Marty Aug. 1 at 7 p.m. The event will take place in the auditorium of the Oakwood Resort Event Center, 702 E. L

    July 26, 2014

  • THE PLAIN SIDE: A hunter finds his delight in God's nature with deer There, in the grass, lies a 12-point buck that the neighbor hit with his van. You quickly estimate the deer at 170 or better. No way. You ask a few tight-lipped questions and yes, the driver affirms the direction the deer was going. He points a still

    July 26, 2014

Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
Traditional African Dishes Teach Healthy Eating The Carbon Trap: US Exports Global Warming 13 Struck by Lightning on Calif. Beach Baseball Hall of Famers Inducted Israel, Hamas Trade Fire Despite Truce in Gaza Italy's Nibali Set to Win First Tour De France Raw: Shipwrecked Concordia Completes Last Voyage Raw: Sea Turtle Hatchlings Emerge From Nest Raw: Massive Dust Storm Covers Phoenix 12-hour Cease-fire in Gaza Fighting Begins Raw: Bolivian Dancers Attempt to Break Record Raw: Israel, Palestine Supporters Rally in US Raw: Air Algerie Flight 5017 Wreckage Virginia Governor Tours Tornado Aftermath Judge Faces Heat Over Offer to Help Migrant Kids Kangaroo Goes Missing in Oklahoma More M17 Bodies Return, Sanctions on Russia Grow Raw: Deadly Tornado Hits Virginia Campground Ohio State Marching Band Chief Fired After Probe Raw: Big Rig Stuck in Illinois Swamp
Poll

With military action and tensions escalating between Russia and Ukraine, as well as Israel and Palestine, are you worried that the U.S. and other nations may get drawn into these conflicts?

Yes, it is a great concern of mine
I’m a little worried, but not too much
No, I’m not worried at all
     View Results