Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

March 4, 2013

Some people aren't creative with excuses

According to a February 2009 CareerBuilder.com survey of more than 8,000 workers, a full 20 percent said they are late to work at least once a week.  A surprising 12 percent admitted to being tardy at least twice a week.  

The majority of workers (33 percent) blamed traffic while 24 percent said it was lack of sleep.  Other reasons given included getting kids ready for school or day care, public transportation, and wardrobe issues.  

Unfortunately, many people who find themselves showing up late for work find it hard to be honest about the reason for their lack of punctuality.  That’s when inventiveness (i.e., creative fibbing) comes into play.  

Let’s face it.  Some people just aren’t that creative, and their efforts at deception are actually painful to watch.  “I feel like I’m in everyone’s way if I show up on time,” may sound compelling when practiced in front of the bathroom mirror, but it sure falls flat in the boss’ office.  

“My left turn signal was out, so I had to make all right turns to get to work,” is a guaranteed swing-and-a-miss.  If you try this one, you can rest assured that you’ll have all the time in the world to rediscover your blinker, along with the joy of making both left- and right-hand turns again.

Employees aren’t the only ones faced with the need to make excuses.  Parents find themselves in the same position when a child has been sick or absent.  While many of the reasons given are legitimate, it’s the butchering of the King’s English and the lack of coherence that can throw an educator’s eyebrows up onto his scalp.

“My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take PE today,” wrote one parent.  “Please execute him.”

“Please excuse Ray from school,” wrote another.  “He has very loose vowels.”

“Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday.  He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.”  And please excuse me while I look for new boots for Tom.  

And lastly, “Please excuse my son’s tardiness.  I forgot to wake him up, and I did not find him until I started making the beds.”  This one actually makes sense.  Having two dyed-in-the-wool “sleeper inners” in the family, I can see how it might happen.  

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