Goshen News, Goshen, IN


September 16, 2013

‘Red lines’ continually crossed in Schrock household

The headlines have been full of it. With things heating up in what some call “the big sandbox over there,” the nation is looking to President Obama, his minions and the 113th United States Congress for their response.

“We have been very clear to the Assad regime, but also to the other players on the ground, that a red line for us is we start seeing a whole bunch of chemical weapons moving around or being utilized,” the president said in August 2012. “That would change my calculations significantly.”

On a much smaller, more domestic level, I know what he means. His red line involves bombs, chemical weapons and terrorists in robes. Here, the local ruffians utilize fist fights, foot chases and their own brand of, uh, chemical weapons that alter my calculations significantly, especially when they drop ’em in a moving vehicle.

As a parent, I’ve laid down so many lines (red, black and otherwise) that I couldn’t begin to count them. When the little thugs overhead routinely blew up my Sunday naps, I threw down a menacing black line.

It went like this: “You can breathe, and you can blink, but that’s it. No galloping in circles, dropping stuff or scraping chairs across the floor because that wakes up Mommy. And we don’t want Mommy waking up, do we?”

The only politically correct answer here was no, and three wagging heads agreed.

I painted another line that may or may not have involved barbed wire. But instead of demarcating a “Quiet, Mother Napping” zone between the upstairs and the downstairs, this one separated the kitchen and my back room.

It was the soggy socks that did it. There I’d be, cantering about in a carefree, happily-caffeinated manner in my fluffy socks when bam! I’d hit a puddle the size of Chesapeake Bay. What? And more importantly, who?

No longer cantering in socks that were no longer fluffy, I’d bring my considerable forensic skills to bear. Sloshing out to the back room, I’d start at the door, following the Trail of Wet that wound through the laundry room, bypassing every rug I’d laid down, then swerving through the kitchen. A couple of loop-de-loops in front of the fridge with a stop by the counter told me that a “someone” or two had grabbed a snack on their way past. Which is about where I stepped in the bay.

If I had “stepped in it,” so had the commoners. Just that quick, I was Margaret Thatcher, delivering an impassioned address to the House of Commons.

Using hand gestures and creative charades, I demonstrated to the wig-less members of parliament my true feelings about soggy stockings. I explained to them the importance of rugs in their lives and, using Power Point, showed them the link between Mother’s carefree cantering and their quality of life. To their credit, they professed a deep and sudden affinity for the use of rugs and expressed a desire to live past dinnertime. I sighed, forgave them and went to change my socks.

Text Only
  • David Suchet as Hercule Poirot.jpg Easter crime mysteries? Some Easter traditions go beyond chocolate bunnies Visions of chocolate candies, Easter bunnies and the risen Christ come to mind this Easter season -- at least in the United States. But what about the rest of the world? Here are a few traditions and surprises.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • At the game with Ernie

    Baseball on radio brings the imagination alive

    April 13, 2014

  • There are many ways to measure success It yields a virtual sea of books, talks and podcasts; classes, seminars and sermons; pointers, tips and 10-step lists; and gaggles of guides that promise the seven secrets to it. The "it," of course, is success. A dictionary definition? Easy: the ach

    April 13, 2014

  • FEA GN140413 dick lehman 08 Passion for pottery

    Passion for pottery BY SAM HOUSEHOLDER sam.householder@goshennews.com

    Dick Lehman has spent his 33-year career as a potter learning how to see.

    Lehman has built a successful career despite no formal, traditional pottery training.

    April 13, 2014 6 Photos

  • FEA GN0411 tom yoder column image Winter leaves yards with trouble spots Each and every year the majority of us are faced with some sort of horticultural problem that exists, has existed, or we're worried that it could become a problem in our future. Every year, and predominantly in the spring, I receive calls from homeow

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Electing sheriffs best way to protect rights DEAR SHERIFF: I have heard of proposed Indiana legislation in the last few years to elect one county executive who would appoint the sheriff and essentially remove the sheriff from being elected. What is your opinion on such legislation? ANSWER: The

    April 11, 2014

  • stephanie price column sig [Duplicate] 'Can I spend the night?' Just say 'no'

    Have I mentioned I’m a morning person? Love those early, early hours. They’re fresh and sweet, much like a newborn baby — quiet, gentle, promising. Oh-five-hundred is my finest hour, and coffee goes best with a sunrise.

    April 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Kingsley, Aaron Sawatsky COLUMN: Scientists say climate to deteriorate faster than expected Scientists say climate to deteriorate faster than expected By AARON SAWATSKY-KINGSLEY Columnist

    April 6, 2014 1 Photo

  • GN0324 Schrock_Rhonda column sig GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Government can't legislate common sense, matters of the heart It was a story that gripped the world for days. A Boeing 777 carrying 239 souls; missing. A desperate search by numerous countries; nothing. Questions in a multitude of dialects and tongues; few answers in any language. As someone put it, “So they can track my phone, but they can’t find a missing plane?”

    March 31, 2014 1 Photo

  • stephanie price column sig [Duplicate] WHOLE FAMILY: Ways to help in times of crisis Ways to help in times of crisis

    March 30, 2014 1 Photo


Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
Author Gabriel Garcia Marquez Dead at 87 Chelsea Clinton Is Pregnant Beau Biden Plans 2016 Run for Del. Governor Deadly Avalanche Sweeps Slopes of Mount Everest Police Arrest Suspect in Highway Shootings Drought Concerns May Hurt Lake Tourism Vermont Goat Meat Gives Refugees Taste of Home Calif. Investigators Re-construct Fatal Bus Cras Mayor Rob Ford Launches Re-election Campaign Appellate Court Hears Okla. Gay Marriage Case Horseless Carriage Introduced at NY Auto Show Obama Hopeful on Ukraine, Will Watch Russians Flamingo Frenzy Ahead of Zoo Construction Crew Criticized Over Handling of Ferry Disaster Agreement Reached to Calm Ukraine Tensions Raw: Pope Francis Performs Pre-easter Ritual Boston Bombing Survivors One Year Later Sister of Slain MIT Officer Reflects on Bombing

Goshen City Council member Dixie Robinson is asking residents to make an effort to clean up their yards this spring. The city’s Dial-A-Truck program is available to haul trash away. Do you think there are more unsightly properties in Goshen this year than five years ago?

Yes, I have noticed more problem properties
No, I have not noticed more problems
I think the problems are about the same as always
     View Results