Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

August 18, 2013

WHOLE FAMILY: Don’t have one favorite? Try liking them all

I’m not her favorite. Whose favorite? Anybody’s favorite. I don’t think I ever have been anybody’s favorite, not really, not that I know of.

I remember getting that realization — “I’m not her favorite” — way back in elementary school. There was this classroom mother, I guess you’d call her, who would come in to school every so often. She’d bring treats, chat with us students and function as the teacher’s helper.

A group of us girls would flock to her, maybe mostly because she was mom to one of the cutest boys in class. This mom was pretty; she was “cool,” as we said in the 1980s.

And while she doted on each of us girls some, complimenting our feathered bangs, leg warmers and pegged jeans, she seemed to like one girl the best. Her favorite. And that girl definitely was not I.

Oh, it’s OK. I’m OK. But I’m realizing this not-being-the-favorite thing is a common characteristic of my life. Now, I will say I am usually among the top, often even memorable — academically, socially, professionally, athletically — but I don’t think I’ve ever really been someone’s “favorite.” Not my coaches’ favorite or teachers’ or bosses’ or editors’ or friends’. I have sometimes looked at the favorite — there’s one in every crowd — and wondered what she had that I didn’t.

I never really figured it out and remained nobody’s favorite. Aww, poor me.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines favorite as “one that is treated or regarded with special favor or liking … a person who is specially loved, trusted, or provided with favors by someone of high rank or authority.” Other definitions note the word to mean the best or most liked anything of its kind.

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