Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

June 24, 2013

Mom finds college funds while cleaning

I think I found Jimmy Hoffa the other day. Like the Sunday school kid who, knowing of Adam’s creation from dust, thought he’d found him under his bed, the thought (I’ll admit it) crossed my mind. “Could it be?”

The reason I was under the bed at all that day was because of a phone call I’d gotten. It was my sister-in-law, ringing me up to say they were coming for a wedding, and could they stay here?

“Sure,” I said. “You can have the boys’ room.” Then I did what I always do when company’s coming. I hyperventilated, freaked out and hit the panic button with a rubber mallet. (Don’t judge. At least I’ve got a system.)

Anyway, about four days out, I sent the troops in to restore some law and order on the wild frontier. In theory, they were sorting, straightening, organizing, filing and folding. In reality, they were milling around, hitting each other and fussing with the volume on the CD player. Or, in one case, flopped across the bed, immersed in a book. At my appearance in the doorway, The Reader shoved the book under a pillow, flipped upright and was folding a shirt in a move so quick I almost missed it. Almost.

Seeing that this could take well into the next presidency, I sighed, grabbed a pair of goggles, self-administered a tetanus shot and waded into the Zone of Radioactivity, otherwise known as The Boys’ Room.

I learned two things real quick. One, if the U.S. mint is experiencing a penny shortage, I know why. And two, at least 75 percent of the LEGOs ever manufactured are at my house. Upstairs. In cracks. Behind furniture. Under beds. In drawers. On top of dressers. And under my right foot.

Stepping on a hard, plastic building block is a test of your moral character. This one’ll separate the sheep from the goats; the fakes, frauds and phonies from the real-deal folks in a New York minute.

It’s called the LEGO dance. The minute your foot comes down on one, searing pain shoots up your leg, passes your kidneys and hits your scalp. Instinctively, you grab the injured foot and commence to hopping up and down on one leg, thereby finding flamingo qualities heretofore undiscovered.

As tears stream down your cheeks and your hair catches fire, it hits you. Your kids are watching with eyes the size of flying discs, and it better be a “hallelujah” that makes it out from between your teeth.

If you’re the parent of a little builder, you’ll know exactly what I mean. We “dancers,” we know good and well that there were no LEGOs scattered on the shoreline when Columbus first set foot on New World soil. Had he hit one, he would’ve thrown up his hands, shouted, “Forget that!” in an Italian accent and sailed right back across “the ocean blue.” This, of course, after finding his own inner flamingo.

Text Only
Life
  • cutout Kingsley, Aaron Sawatsky Many people looking out for Goshen’s trees Here is what my Wednesday consisted of, at least until noon. The first thing I needed to do that morning was put up the Maple City Arbor Day Celebration banner at the entrance to the Rieth Interpretive Center. I've had the banner riding around with m

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • wade hammond ask a vet mug ASK A VET: DEAR DR. WELDY'S: What is a bowed tendon? What should I look for if I suspect my horse has one? DEAR READER: A bowed tendon refers to a flexor tendon that has been injured, usually by over stretching or straining the tendon beyond its elastic limits.

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • PLAIN SIDE: A hearty parlor tussle with Pictionary Pictionary. You play it? I've always enjoyed the game -- my lack of artistic skills notwithstanding. Calvin and his family take it to another level though. If we play with them, we holler, we shiver, we jump, we scream, we cheer and we groan. Calvin'

    April 19, 2014

  • Mile and miles of memories

    Sam and his first car, Xenia, a 2005 Scion xB.

    Saying good bye to a car isn't easy for a gearhead.

    April 18, 2014

  • David Suchet as Hercule Poirot.jpg Easter crime mysteries? Some Easter traditions go beyond chocolate bunnies Visions of chocolate candies, Easter bunnies and the risen Christ come to mind this Easter season -- at least in the United States. But what about the rest of the world? Here are a few traditions and surprises.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • At the game with Ernie

    Baseball on radio brings the imagination alive

    April 13, 2014

  • There are many ways to measure success It yields a virtual sea of books, talks and podcasts; classes, seminars and sermons; pointers, tips and 10-step lists; and gaggles of guides that promise the seven secrets to it. The "it," of course, is success. A dictionary definition? Easy: the ach

    April 13, 2014

  • FEA GN140413 dick lehman 08 Passion for pottery

    Passion for pottery BY SAM HOUSEHOLDER sam.householder@goshennews.com

    Dick Lehman has spent his 33-year career as a potter learning how to see.

    Lehman has built a successful career despite no formal, traditional pottery training.

    April 13, 2014 6 Photos

  • FEA GN0411 tom yoder column image Winter leaves yards with trouble spots Each and every year the majority of us are faced with some sort of horticultural problem that exists, has existed, or we're worried that it could become a problem in our future. Every year, and predominantly in the spring, I receive calls from homeow

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Electing sheriffs best way to protect rights DEAR SHERIFF: I have heard of proposed Indiana legislation in the last few years to elect one county executive who would appoint the sheriff and essentially remove the sheriff from being elected. What is your opinion on such legislation? ANSWER: The

    April 11, 2014

Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
Raw: More Than 100,000 Gather for Easter Sunday Raw: Greeks Celebrate Easter With "Rocket War" Police Question Captain, Crew on Ferry Disaster Raw: Orthodox Christians Observe Easter Rite Ceremony Marks 19th Anniversary of OKC Bombing Raw: Four French Journalists Freed From Syria Raw: Massive 7.2 Earthquake Rocks Mexico Captain of Sunken SKorean Ferry Arrested Raw: Fire Destroys 3 N.J. Beachfront Homes Raw: Pope Presides Over Good Friday Mass Raw: Space X Launches to Space Station Superheroes Descend on Capitol Mall Man Charged in Kansas City Highway Shootings Obama Awards Navy Football Trophy Anti-semitic Leaflets Posted in Eastern Ukraine Raw: Magnitude-7.2 Earthquake Shakes Mexico City Ceremony at MIT Remembers One of Boston's Finest Raw: Students Hurt in Colo. School Bus Crash Deadly Avalanche Sweeps Slopes of Mount Everest
Poll

There has been discussion at West Goshen Elementary School to require mandatory student uniforms in the future. How do you feel about the prospect of mandatory student uniforms in a public school environment?

I think it’s an excellent idea that is way overdue
I think it’s a bad idea and would be restrictive for students and parents.
     View Results