Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

June 24, 2013

Mom finds college funds while cleaning

I think I found Jimmy Hoffa the other day. Like the Sunday school kid who, knowing of Adam’s creation from dust, thought he’d found him under his bed, the thought (I’ll admit it) crossed my mind. “Could it be?”

The reason I was under the bed at all that day was because of a phone call I’d gotten. It was my sister-in-law, ringing me up to say they were coming for a wedding, and could they stay here?

“Sure,” I said. “You can have the boys’ room.” Then I did what I always do when company’s coming. I hyperventilated, freaked out and hit the panic button with a rubber mallet. (Don’t judge. At least I’ve got a system.)

Anyway, about four days out, I sent the troops in to restore some law and order on the wild frontier. In theory, they were sorting, straightening, organizing, filing and folding. In reality, they were milling around, hitting each other and fussing with the volume on the CD player. Or, in one case, flopped across the bed, immersed in a book. At my appearance in the doorway, The Reader shoved the book under a pillow, flipped upright and was folding a shirt in a move so quick I almost missed it. Almost.

Seeing that this could take well into the next presidency, I sighed, grabbed a pair of goggles, self-administered a tetanus shot and waded into the Zone of Radioactivity, otherwise known as The Boys’ Room.

I learned two things real quick. One, if the U.S. mint is experiencing a penny shortage, I know why. And two, at least 75 percent of the LEGOs ever manufactured are at my house. Upstairs. In cracks. Behind furniture. Under beds. In drawers. On top of dressers. And under my right foot.

Stepping on a hard, plastic building block is a test of your moral character. This one’ll separate the sheep from the goats; the fakes, frauds and phonies from the real-deal folks in a New York minute.

It’s called the LEGO dance. The minute your foot comes down on one, searing pain shoots up your leg, passes your kidneys and hits your scalp. Instinctively, you grab the injured foot and commence to hopping up and down on one leg, thereby finding flamingo qualities heretofore undiscovered.

As tears stream down your cheeks and your hair catches fire, it hits you. Your kids are watching with eyes the size of flying discs, and it better be a “hallelujah” that makes it out from between your teeth.

If you’re the parent of a little builder, you’ll know exactly what I mean. We “dancers,” we know good and well that there were no LEGOs scattered on the shoreline when Columbus first set foot on New World soil. Had he hit one, he would’ve thrown up his hands, shouted, “Forget that!” in an Italian accent and sailed right back across “the ocean blue.” This, of course, after finding his own inner flamingo.

Text Only
Life
  • 2014 Junior Lawn and Garden.jpg LaGrange County youth finish well at tractor contest LAGRANGE — With all of its four contestants delivering competitive performances, the LaGrange County 4-H Tractor program continued its tradition of achievement in the annual Purdue Area XI 4-H Tractor Contest July 26 at the LaGrange County 4-H Fairgrounds.

    August 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • CORRECTION: Outdoor worship, barbecue at Goshen Christian Reformed Church not happening It was incorrectly reported in Wednesday's edition — the Briefly column on A3 — that Goshen Christian Reformed Church was to have an outdoor worship service and barbecue Thursday through Saturday. The event was submitted by a church with the same nam

    August 21, 2014

  • Local students graduate from Ball State University The following local students graduated from Ball State University this summer.

    August 21, 2014

  • NEWS BRIEFS: Aug. 21, 2014 GOSHENSurprise 90th birthday party set for SundayThere will be a surprise 90th birthday party for Gene Potter of Goshen, formerly of LaGrange, Sunday. Family, friends and former students are invited to attend the event which will take place from 2 to

    August 21, 2014

  • HEALTH BRIEFS SOUTH BENDMaking Strides Against Breast Cancer walk Oct. 25Everyone is invited to join the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer community walk Oct. 25, at Howard Park, located along East Jefferson Blvd., South Bend. Registra

    August 20, 2014

  • NEWS BRIEFS: Aug. 20, 2014 BRISTOL Learn about cast iron cooking at park program The Elkhart County Parks and Recreation Department invites all Dutch oven enthusiasts to attend the Elkhart County Parks’ fourth annual Dutch Oven Gathering. This event will take place at the Bria

    August 19, 2014

  • GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Trust God to lead us where we never thought we'd be It came as a surprise. Both times, I’d not seen it, not in the beginning, at least. Both times, there’d been nothing to indicate it lay hidden somewhere in the depths. In fact, both times, what was visible to the human eye spoke something different,

    August 18, 2014

  • YWCA, prosecuting attorney join forces ELKHART — The Office of the Elkhart County Prosecuting Attorney and the YWCA North Central indiana will partner to offer a support group for Hispanic victims of domestic violence in Elkhart County. This group will be facilitated by the Office of the

    August 15, 2014

  • GN140816 Nigerian girls missing Community asked to spend week in prayer, fasting for Nigerian girls Sunday through Aug. 24 will be marked with a time of prayer and fasting at local Churches of the Brethren. On April 14, nearly 300 schoolgirls were abducted in Nigeria by Boka Haran. The majority of these girls are from the Nigerian Church of the Bre

    August 15, 2014 1 Photo

  • Pets center of attention at Pet Fest BRISTOL — The public is invited to the Humane Society of Elkhart County from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday to celebrate furry loved ones at Pet Fest.The event is open to all pets and their people. There will be games for children and pets, a costume con

    August 15, 2014

Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
US: We Do Not Pay Ransom to Terrorists Ferguson Teachers Training to Deal With Trauma Jon Hamm on the Unrest in Ferguson Tit for Tat? McDonald's Shuttered in Moscow Life on the Professional Video Game Circuit TX Gov Perry in Washington: 'Confident' in Case Hospital Releases Two Missionaries Who Had Ebola Ramen Health Risks: The Dark Side of the Noodle NYC Doctor-in-chief Seeks Community Approach Indonesian Police Fire Tear Gas at Protesters Raw: Shots Fired in Liberian Shantytown DOJ, Bank of America Reach Record Settlement Raw: Cubavision Airs Images of Fidel Castro Raw: Grief After Deadly Airstrikes in Gaza Officer Who Pointed Gun at Protesters Suspended Kathy Griffin Challenges Minaj to 'a Booty Off' Johnson: Six Arrests, No Tear Gas in Ferguson Raw: Rescue, Relief Efforts at Japan Landslide Cadavers, a Teen, and a Medical School Dream California Drought Stings Honeybees, Beekeepers
Poll

Three Goshen elementary schools — Chandler, Chamberlain and West Goshen — are providing free meals to all students during the school year as part of the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Community Eligibility Provision of the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010. Nearly 80 percent of students at Chandler, 89 percent of students at Chamberlain and 78 percent of students at West Goshen already qualify for free or reduced-price lunches based on their family income. How do you feel about the new lunch program?

I think it’s a good idea to feed all the students free of charge
I think those who can afford it should pay for their school meals
I think all students should be required to pay for their school meals
     View Results