Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

September 9, 2013

GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Sometimes Mr. GPS can’t find the funny in his honey

(Continued)

Then there’s this. He may have the Garmin, but I have the “funny eyes.” In other words, I have the ability to see the funny side of life. In the ordinary, boring and mundane, I see it. In the irritating, frustrating or maddening, it’s there. If you have the right kind of eyes.

This ability to see the humor in life has worked out well for us. For four lively and full-of-ornery boys, it’s been a boon for their longevity. Because Mom can usually find something funny in the chaos and mayhem, they’ve not been deported to a labor camp in Siberia or an orphanage in Thailand. Yet.

But back to Mr. Schrock and his not-quite-as-funny eyes. There are times when my own “funny eyes” must be paired with my fastest shoes if I hope to tell you about it later. Take what happened Saturday night. There we were, he and I, shopping in the hair care aisle. We were looking at a men’s shampoo that claimed to be a thickener. And just like that, it came.

“You have to be careful with that stuff,” I said, sober as a judge. “You don’t want it to run down over your tummy while you’re in the shower.” There was silence as he pondered this tidbit. When I started laughing, he gave such a grunt of disgust, it was heard in Plymouth. Sensing a need to vanish, I was all the way over in produce, innocently lurking by the rutabagas, when he found me.

And that’s what I mean. I can see all kinds of funny in this story with my own sharp, little eyes. As for him, I still can’t see anything but the whites of his. Someday, he’ll laugh. But for now, I’m sleeping with my sneakers on.

There was another small incident that happened when we were newlyweds that struck me terribly funny. (It was all an accident, OK, so I can’t be tried, convicted and sentenced to wearing an orange onesie with the numbers on the back. I can’t.) It went like this.

There I was, larking around the kitchen, thinking thoughts of love and romance while mixing something, likely a chocolate cake, in my brand-new KitchenAid. So engrossed was I in my wifely pursuits that when the object of my desire suddenly appeared in the room, I did what girls do. I screamed.

So unexpected was my bellow that he did something I wasn’t expecting, either. He exploded into what appeared to be an Irish jig with moves I’ve not seen before or since.

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