Bugs do not bug me.
People, really. They’re just tiny creatures — albeit sometimes ugly ones — who are eking out a life here on this gritty, dirty, dusty, leafy, muddy planet Earth. Creatures, that’s all.
Plus, it just seems silly, borderline ridiculous, to get all freaked out about the tiniest of critters, the ones who, the vast of majority of the time, cannot hurt you and would rather scurry away than mess with you anyway.
“Ohymygod ohymygod ohmygod, ack!” I hear.
“What?! Are you OK?!” I jump into nursey First Aid mode.
“It’s a STINK bug! Over there! Get it! Those things FREAK. ME. OUT.”
This is where you get my fabulous blank stare.
No, really — I’ve heard this at the gym, even, from women who could lift boulders over their heads or run up a mountain hauling me on their backs. I’ve heard it from nurses who barely bat an eye at far more dangerous things — think contaminated body fluids — and who work 12-hour shifts like they’re nothing.
A stink bug?
Now I do not mean to be so critical — especially if there’s good reason to be FREAKED OUT by stink bugs, say — so I did a little research. Turns out you do have a point if you’re defending your fruit. The brown marmorated stink bug, in fancy terms called the Halyomorpha halys, might very well leave necrotic (brown) spots on your banana.
All right — I’m done poking fun. I suppose I’ve made my first point, which is bugs are people, too. No, that was not the point. But bug are creatures, amazingly developed little critters, some of them even wildly beautiful and most of which — truly — mean you no harm.
So suck it up and stop being hysterical when one buzzes by.