Goshen News, Goshen, IN


November 25, 2013

Writer learns men can successfully think about nothing


Little was right. “My” girls were in Ohio, and my boys were not.

While Mama spent the weekend in a sea of estrogen, an unheard-of phenomenon, there was no such thing back home. Where Mama was, there was laughing (a lot) and crying (a little). A horde of girls sipped all manner of beverages from matching pink glasses, thoughtfully personalized with each one’s name, and shared their feelings.

But in No Estrogen Village, there was no crying (at all) or sharing of feelings. Judging by the way the cash we’d left had evaporated, there’d been significant purchasing of pizza, subs and snacks. And judging by the state of the pantry, a team of highly-organized termites had blown through. The bare studs and empty shelves hinted at that, along with the mound of chip bags in the trash. No one here had succumbed to starvation, that was sure.

All this talk of males reminds me of a tidbit I heard recently. A friend had been listening, she said, to the authors of a popular book on the differences between the sexes. They’d done the research and determined that when you ask a man what he’s thinking about and he says, “Nothing,” he really is. Thinking about nothing, I mean.

Flabbergasted, I’d turned to her husband and said, “Is that true?”

“Yup. Nothing.” That’s what he said.

Claiming column research, I took it to Mr. Schrock who confirmed it as well. Whereupon I promptly moved from the State of Flabbergastedness to a state called Envy. As one whose brain rarely sleeps, I could scarcely fathom a condition of nothingness for even five minutes. It was worth a try, I thought, and gave it a whirl.

Closing my eyes, I focused hard on clearing my mind of all thoughts. For about 1.2 seconds, nothing. Then, coughing from someone upstairs. My eyes flew open. Was that Little? Was he getting sick? Come to think of it, he’d sounded snuffly last night at dinner. Now, where was that cough syrup the doctor had—wait. Rats. I was having thoughts.

Text Only
  • Red Cross in urgent need of donors

    The American Red Cross is facing a blood shortage, leading to an urgent need for donors of all blood types to roll up a sleeve and give.

    July 23, 2014

  • Vegetables need blanching before freezing Rain at the right time and cool weather is making for bountiful gardens, whether it be your own or produce that you buy at many of the local vegetable stands. While I am at the Elkhart County 4-H Fair, I know from past years, I will have many convers

    July 23, 2014

  • Briefly Translation to XTAGS failed

    July 23, 2014

  • GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Schrock boys could add some excitement to White House EDITOR’S NOTE: Rhonda’s Schrock’s column normally appears on Mondays, but was moved this week due to fair coverage.What a wonderful time of year. As I write, a summer rain is falling. Instead of bundling up in layers, tripling my normal circumference

    July 20, 2014

  • Puppy in perilfrom parvo Dear Dr. Weldy’s: My neighbor’s puppy is sick with parvovirus. Are my dogs at risk? What can you tell me about this illness?Dear reader: If your dogs are current on vaccines, they are at very little risk of contracting this virus. Parvovirus is a com

    July 20, 2014

  • SHADES OF GREEN: Educating future leaders in environmental issues is important Thinking about my future year at Goshen Middle School, I found this essay I wrote in 2009 that I will read often while working with my 12-year-old students.***I’ve had many mentors who have led me down my path of education. Ones who have inspired; on

    July 20, 2014

  • GN140720 whole family 01 A special memory on graduation day Today I get “pinned,” a nursing-school version of a graduation ceremony during which we say a pledge to take good care of people and grin goofy-like — I’m sure I will — as our favorite faculty gift us roses, handshakes, and a little gold broach.Oh, a

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • 'Staycation' a simple, but fun alternative One of the column topics that I get a lot of comments, compliments and feedback on is when I write about my vacation adventures (or should I say, misadventures?).Since I took a spring vacation this year and didn’t have any other plans to travel, I de

    July 19, 2014

  • Calls aboutlarge, green June bugs increasing The caller was a bit frantic as she described huge bugs flying all around her backyard, seemingly chasing her around as she tried to investigate what was going on near her garden. She described them as shiny green, and shaped somewhat like a Japanese

    July 18, 2014

  • GN140718 dirt on gardening grubs DIRT ON GARDENING: Grubs, left untreated, will continue to cause damage Bugs are a gardener’s worst nightmare — or seemingly so. Every year we are confronted with these pesky critters that enjoy eating the leaves and vegetation of our prized landscapes and vegetable gardens — sometimes even the vegetables themselves.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo


Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
Death Penalty Expert: 'This is a Turning Point' House Committee at Odds Over Obama Lawsuit Raw: MH17 Victim's Bodies Arrive in Netherlands Raw: UN School Used As Shelter Hit by Tank Shell Raw: Gunmen Attack Iraqi Prison Convoy Plane Leaves Ukraine With More Crash Victims The Rock Brings Star Power to Premiere Raw: Families Travel to Taiwan Plane Crash Site Arizona Execution Takes Almost Two Hours Gen. Odierno Discusses Ukraine, NATO at Forum Gaza Fighting Rages Amid Cease-Fire Efforts Mint Gives JFK Coin a Face-lift Creative Makeovers for Ugly Cellphone Towers Ariz. Inmate Dies 2 Hours After Execution Began Crash Kills Teen Pilot Seeking World Record LeBron James Sends Apology Treat to Neighbors Raw: Funeral for Man Who Died in NYPD Custody Migrants Back in Honduras After US Deports Israeli American Reservist Torn Over Return

Last weekend (July 12) the Goshen Parks Department held its Kid’s Try-athlon to promote childhood fitness and this week (July 18) the new bicycle trail is open to the fairgrounds in Goshen, offering residents a healthy way to get to the annual agriculture exposition. Have you joined the local fitness movement?

Yes, I work at eating healthy and exercising
No, I am happy with my fitness level
Changing my diet and exercise frequency is a work in progress
     View Results