Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

November 25, 2013

Writer learns men can successfully think about nothing

For an entire year, they’d been in my head. Ever since the message had come, they’d huddled there, waiting, expectant in the back of my fertile brain.

It was in October 2012 that an email had come, slipping into my inbox on an ordinary day with a not-so-ordinary request. “We’re having a retreat, our church, for the women. We’re needing a speaker. Four sessions. Would you?”

At long last, it was the night before retreat. We had decided that Mr. Schrock would play Jeeves, the butler, as the conference was out in Ohio. The Schrocklets would have the house to themselves, a prospect that excited them terribly, though their excitement dimmed noticeably at the mention of “chores” and “list.”

I was standing at the sink, preparing a small whale toothbrush for a little set of teeth. All at once, I heard what I shall only describe as a boy sound. This was followed by uproarious laughter from the little tooter and his dad. Seeing my cue, I made what I’d describe as a girl sound that went like this: “Disgusting!” Unfortunately, in Manville here, this is taken as a compliment. (You’d think I would know this by now and would find a new sound, but even I have lapses. Even I.)

Anyway. So in the midst the chaos there by the bathroom sink, I lifted my eyes to the heavens and uttered this plaintive cry, “Where are the girls in my life?” Just that quick, the Cheerful Little Cricket piped up, “They’re in Ohio.” That quick, with his unbrushed teeth.

And that’s how I opened it up. I took Little’s line with me to the camp in Ohio and shared it with all of the women. Standing at the podium, the girl from Elkhart County found herself giving thanks for the girls of Holmes County and for the privilege of speaking to them.

Text Only
Life
  • Mile and miles of memories

    Sam and his first car, Xenia, a 2005 Scion xB.

    Saying good bye to a car isn't easy for a gearhead.

    April 18, 2014

  • David Suchet as Hercule Poirot.jpg Easter crime mysteries? Some Easter traditions go beyond chocolate bunnies Visions of chocolate candies, Easter bunnies and the risen Christ come to mind this Easter season -- at least in the United States. But what about the rest of the world? Here are a few traditions and surprises.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • At the game with Ernie

    Baseball on radio brings the imagination alive

    April 13, 2014

  • There are many ways to measure success It yields a virtual sea of books, talks and podcasts; classes, seminars and sermons; pointers, tips and 10-step lists; and gaggles of guides that promise the seven secrets to it. The "it," of course, is success. A dictionary definition? Easy: the ach

    April 13, 2014

  • FEA GN140413 dick lehman 08 Passion for pottery

    Passion for pottery BY SAM HOUSEHOLDER sam.householder@goshennews.com

    Dick Lehman has spent his 33-year career as a potter learning how to see.

    Lehman has built a successful career despite no formal, traditional pottery training.

    April 13, 2014 6 Photos

  • FEA GN0411 tom yoder column image Winter leaves yards with trouble spots Each and every year the majority of us are faced with some sort of horticultural problem that exists, has existed, or we're worried that it could become a problem in our future. Every year, and predominantly in the spring, I receive calls from homeow

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Electing sheriffs best way to protect rights DEAR SHERIFF: I have heard of proposed Indiana legislation in the last few years to elect one county executive who would appoint the sheriff and essentially remove the sheriff from being elected. What is your opinion on such legislation? ANSWER: The

    April 11, 2014

  • stephanie price column sig [Duplicate] 'Can I spend the night?' Just say 'no'

    Have I mentioned I’m a morning person? Love those early, early hours. They’re fresh and sweet, much like a newborn baby — quiet, gentle, promising. Oh-five-hundred is my finest hour, and coffee goes best with a sunrise.

    April 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Kingsley, Aaron Sawatsky COLUMN: Scientists say climate to deteriorate faster than expected Scientists say climate to deteriorate faster than expected By AARON SAWATSKY-KINGSLEY Columnist

    April 6, 2014 1 Photo

  • GN0324 Schrock_Rhonda column sig GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Government can't legislate common sense, matters of the heart It was a story that gripped the world for days. A Boeing 777 carrying 239 souls; missing. A desperate search by numerous countries; nothing. Questions in a multitude of dialects and tongues; few answers in any language. As someone put it, “So they can track my phone, but they can’t find a missing plane?”

    March 31, 2014 1 Photo

Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
Poll

Goshen City Council member Dixie Robinson is asking residents to make an effort to clean up their yards this spring. The city’s Dial-A-Truck program is available to haul trash away. Do you think there are more unsightly properties in Goshen this year than five years ago?

Yes, I have noticed more problem properties
No, I have not noticed more problems
I think the problems are about the same as always
     View Results