Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

January 21, 2013

RHONDA SCHROCK: Hot legs, laundry mountains and chaos by the tree

“Dear Mr. Schrock,” read the notice. “From the sounds of it, your kids are killing each other by the light of the Christmas tree.  Which, of course, they’re supposed to be taking down.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come home and facilitate a little peace on earth. It would sure help Mama feel like kissing, uh, the guy in the red suit? Signed, Your loving wife.”

Predictably, my Facebook friends chimed in with chuckling, hooting and slapping of the knees. None of whom appeared to have kids of their own who were killing each other by the light of the tree.

Our local Santa Claus (a.k.a. Mr. Schrock) was used to it. For the 23 years we’d been parents, he’d been subjected to such daily debriefings by an occasionally hysterical female. There was a reason, I knew, that he left for the office every day with a smile on his face. As he’d put it, he used “all eight horses” to get out the drive.

Just the other night, we were watching an IU game together, cheering for Zeller and his teammates when suddenly a graphic appeared. “Mayhem index,” it read.

“Maybe I should post one every day,” I said, laughing out loud as I pictured a whiteboard with a mayhem scale, colored in red and off the chart. I shot a glance at Mr. Basketball hunkered on his end of the couch. He, I noted, was not laughing and simply looked tired instead.

Poor fellow. No wonder he was tired. Him with all those boys who shouted and chased, ate him out of house and home and came asking for money as though he had “Credit Union” stamped on his back. Him with a wife with the red in her hair and a fistful of pom-poms inside.

He hadn’t known it when he’d popped the big question, but he’d picked one that would end up loving him, in part, for his legs. Especially in the winter. When her feet were like ice. And his legs were not. A girl who’d consider him a prime source of heat (a radiator, if you will), begging him to “shoot for a radiance factor of 6” as he climbed into bed.

Text Only
Life
  • Vegetables need blanching before freezing Rain at the right time and cool weather is making for bountiful gardens, whether it be your own or produce that you buy at many of the local vegetable stands. While I am at the Elkhart County 4-H Fair, I know from past years, I will have many convers

    July 23, 2014

  • GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Schrock boys could add some excitement to White House EDITOR’S NOTE: Rhonda’s Schrock’s column normally appears on Mondays, but was moved this week due to fair coverage.What a wonderful time of year. As I write, a summer rain is falling. Instead of bundling up in layers, tripling my normal circumference

    July 20, 2014

  • Puppy in perilfrom parvo Dear Dr. Weldy’s: My neighbor’s puppy is sick with parvovirus. Are my dogs at risk? What can you tell me about this illness?Dear reader: If your dogs are current on vaccines, they are at very little risk of contracting this virus. Parvovirus is a com

    July 20, 2014

  • SHADES OF GREEN: Educating future leaders in environmental issues is important Thinking about my future year at Goshen Middle School, I found this essay I wrote in 2009 that I will read often while working with my 12-year-old students.***I’ve had many mentors who have led me down my path of education. Ones who have inspired; on

    July 20, 2014

  • GN140720 whole family 01 A special memory on graduation day Today I get “pinned,” a nursing-school version of a graduation ceremony during which we say a pledge to take good care of people and grin goofy-like — I’m sure I will — as our favorite faculty gift us roses, handshakes, and a little gold broach.Oh, a

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • 'Staycation' a simple, but fun alternative One of the column topics that I get a lot of comments, compliments and feedback on is when I write about my vacation adventures (or should I say, misadventures?).Since I took a spring vacation this year and didn’t have any other plans to travel, I de

    July 19, 2014

  • Calls aboutlarge, green June bugs increasing The caller was a bit frantic as she described huge bugs flying all around her backyard, seemingly chasing her around as she tried to investigate what was going on near her garden. She described them as shiny green, and shaped somewhat like a Japanese

    July 18, 2014

  • GN140718 dirt on gardening grubs DIRT ON GARDENING: Grubs, left untreated, will continue to cause damage Bugs are a gardener’s worst nightmare — or seemingly so. Every year we are confronted with these pesky critters that enjoy eating the leaves and vegetation of our prized landscapes and vegetable gardens — sometimes even the vegetables themselves.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Briefly ELKHARTRep. Neese appointed to recycling committeeIndiana State Rep. Tim Neese has been reappointed to the advisory committee of the Indiana Recycling Market Development Board by Indiana Speaker of the House Brian C. Bosma. Neese is one of four legis

    July 18, 2014

  • Briefly MIDDLEBURYNorthridge Class of 1984 to meetMembers of the Northridge High School Class of 1984 will meet at Das Dutchman Essenhaus Saturday from 8 to 10 a.m.For more information, go to Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.l.martin.1238.ELKHARTC

    July 17, 2014

Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
Judge Ponders Overturning Colo. Gay Marriage Ban Airlines Halt Travel to Israel Amid Violence NYPD Chief Calls for 'use of Force' Retraining VA Nominee McDonald Goes Before Congress Bush: Don't Worry, Sugarland Isn't Breaking Up US Official: Most Migrant Children to Be Removed Police Probing Brooklyn Bridge Flag Switch CDC Head Concerned About a Post-antibiotic Era Raw: First Lady Says `Drink Up' More Water Courts Conflicted Over Healthcare Law Holder Urges Bipartisanship on Immigration Raw: Truck, Train Crash Leads to Fireball US Airlines Cancel Israel Flights Obama Signs Workforce Training Law Crash Victims' Remains Reach Ukraine-held City Diplomatic Push Intensifies to End War in Gaza Cat Fans Lap Up Feline Film Festival Michigan Plant's Goal: Flower and Die Veteran Creates Job During High Unemployment
Poll

Last weekend (July 12) the Goshen Parks Department held its Kid’s Try-athlon to promote childhood fitness and this week (July 18) the new bicycle trail is open to the fairgrounds in Goshen, offering residents a healthy way to get to the annual agriculture exposition. Have you joined the local fitness movement?

Yes, I work at eating healthy and exercising
No, I am happy with my fitness level
Changing my diet and exercise frequency is a work in progress
     View Results