Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

November 26, 2012

RHONDA SCHROCK: Dreaming of life where ‘The Shimmy’ isn’t needed

“The patient is an FBI agent investigating terrorism.” That’s what the doctor said as I sped along, typing a referral letter.

Wait. FBI agent? Investigating terrorism? Well, rats. Here I was thinking I was just a mother and a housewife who typed medical reports and wrote a column and edited a magazine. My resume seemed awfully full already without adding another job to the list.

Terrorism, huh? What else was it when a certain teenager cornered a sibling, brandishing a toothbrush? When said sibling found himself on his back, thrashing and squalling as the brush approached his jaws?

If you were threatened with a sound brushing with another fellow’s brush, it shattered the peace that quick and brought disunity to the community. If you were a mom and you heard that report, it behooved you to investigate. Which made you the director of the MBI (Maternal Bureau of Investigation) even if you hadn’t interviewed for that position. Well, rats.

Community unity. This was a big deal in any household. But it was critical if you were a family of six shoehorned into a 1550-square-foot house with no room to swing a cat. The attributes of peace and love got real important in such a case. Make that peace, love and lowering the toilet lid.

In a kitchen with the square footage of a hot pad, one open cupboard door was a real disruption. “How hard can this be?” I’d sighed countless times on my way past the pantry.

If you factored in the scientific angles, averaging in the laws of gravity and the mechanics of levers, it took far less force to push a door shut than it did to pull it open. Unless there was some unknown genetic syndrome at work, such as CPL (Convenient Paralysis of the Limbs), it was sheer negligence. And that was a small, but maddening pea beneath my mattress.

Between the sneakers, the LEGOs and the matchbox cars that littered the floors, it was a land mine. A broken foot waiting to happen. A test of one’s vocabulary, and it brought disunity to our tightly-packed community.

Another trouble spot was the downstairs bathroom. It was fine if you were flying solo, but if you weren’t, well, it behooved you to look lively and step sharp.

It was called The Sunday Morning Shimmy. They didn’t teach classes for it, but they should.

Forget the grace and beauty of couples gliding across vast ballroom floors in tuxes and gowns. For him? Hair neatly groomed, five o’clock shadow erased. And for her? Hair piled high with tendrils and curls.

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Life
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  • NWS 0824 Bryant 99 BD photo Briefly GOSHEN 99th birthday open house today Ruby Evelyn (Deafenbaugh) Bryant of Goshen will celebrate her 99th birthday at an open house today at the Bryant homestead from 2:30 to 5 p.m. Family and friends are invited to attend. She was born in Claypool, A

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  • PUBLIC RECORD Marriage license The following marriage licenses were filed in Elkhart County: Trevor J. Milliken, 22, and Emily A. Wagoner, 22, both of 71074 Conrad Road, Niles, Mich. Zachary M. Cox, 25, and Mashala K. Short, 21, both of 487 Brookside Manor, Goshen

    August 22, 2014

  • Lifelong Learning fall courses announced GOSHEN — The Lifelong Learning Institute of Elkhart County is offering fall courses. These short courses are designed to provide stimulating and affordable classes in many fields for active seniors. There are no tests or grades, and no previous studies or degrees are required.

    August 22, 2014

  • 2014 Junior Lawn and Garden.jpg LaGrange County youth finish well at tractor contest LAGRANGE — With all of its four contestants delivering competitive performances, the LaGrange County 4-H Tractor program continued its tradition of achievement in the annual Purdue Area XI 4-H Tractor Contest July 26 at the LaGrange County 4-H Fairgrounds.

    August 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • CORRECTION: Outdoor worship, barbecue at Goshen Christian Reformed Church not happening It was incorrectly reported in Wednesday's edition — the Briefly column on A3 — that Goshen Christian Reformed Church was to have an outdoor worship service and barbecue Thursday through Saturday. The event was submitted by a church with the same nam

    August 21, 2014

  • Local students graduate from Ball State University The following local students graduated from Ball State University this summer.

    August 21, 2014

  • NEWS BRIEFS: Aug. 21, 2014 GOSHENSurprise 90th birthday party set for SundayThere will be a surprise 90th birthday party for Gene Potter of Goshen, formerly of LaGrange, Sunday. Family, friends and former students are invited to attend the event which will take place from 2 to

    August 21, 2014

  • HEALTH BRIEFS SOUTH BENDMaking Strides Against Breast Cancer walk Oct. 25Everyone is invited to join the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer community walk Oct. 25, at Howard Park, located along East Jefferson Blvd., South Bend. Registra

    August 20, 2014

  • NEWS BRIEFS: Aug. 20, 2014 BRISTOL Learn about cast iron cooking at park program The Elkhart County Parks and Recreation Department invites all Dutch oven enthusiasts to attend the Elkhart County Parks’ fourth annual Dutch Oven Gathering. This event will take place at the Bria

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Poll

Three Goshen elementary schools — Chandler, Chamberlain and West Goshen — are providing free meals to all students during the school year as part of the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Community Eligibility Provision of the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010. Nearly 80 percent of students at Chandler, 89 percent of students at Chamberlain and 78 percent of students at West Goshen already qualify for free or reduced-price lunches based on their family income. How do you feel about the new lunch program?

I think it’s a good idea to feed all the students free of charge
I think those who can afford it should pay for their school meals
I think all students should be required to pay for their school meals
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