Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

September 26, 2012

Watching your favorite programs together may be killing your relationship

You know the classic story: Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl, girl falls for boy. Several years later girl gets bored with boy, boy gets bored with girl. Both of them call it quits.

This particular scenario happens a lot, and many times couples aren’t able to see boredom creeping toward their union -- which, if you let it, can snuff out any good relationship.

Usually when a couple first gets together, it’s all sunshine and rainbows and each day is filled with romantic hand-holding, while strolling together through a varied amount of activities and new adventures.

It's usually because one partner dabbles in the hobby of the other, and before you know it, both of you have a relationship filled with new activities and fresh experiences -- all while the both of you are hovering on cloud 10 in your newfound life together.

Then routine sets in and before you know it every night is filled with nights on the couch, feet on the ottoman, watching Jay Leno belt out yet another corny joke about a politician or the day’s events.

As deadly as infidelity

Well, according to two separate studies this particular kind of lifestyle can be as deadly to a relationship as infidelity. In fact, this type of daily routine can easily lead one to infidelity, researchers say.

The relationship and intimacy experts at Good in Bed, a company that conducts surveys among married and single couples, shows that 24 percent of people said they cheated on their mate simply because they were bored.

“Boredom is basically like an attack on our relationship’s immunity system -- once weakened we’re all the more susceptible to a cascade of ailments,” said relationship expert Ian Kerner.

After surveying 3,341 people in monogamous relationships, researchers found boredom crept in at different times and in many different ways.

According to the study results, 15.6 percent of couples said that once they went from dating to moving in together, relationship boredom soon followed. It was also revealed that 32.2 percent of couples said that once kids came into the fray much of the excitement between them and their partner diminished.

The study also showed that 13.8 percent of couples said boredom set in once they got married. Other reasons for boredom, according to the survey, were pregnancy (8 percent) and getting older (38.5 percent).

Sense of individuality

Relationship experts at Good in Bed suggest that couples have to maintain a strong sense of individuality in order to keep the relationship fresh. Many times all of the things that make us initially attracted to the other, like our hobbies and interests, get sucked into the relationship to the point of non-distinction.

This is a crucial error, according to relationship experts, as boredom is more likely to set in if each person in the relationship doesn’t make an effort to grow individually.

The folks at Good in Bed also say to find new things to discuss. For couples that have been together for a long period of time, it can be easy to run out of things to talk about.

Experts also say that just having the obligatory “how was your day” conversation can easily lead to boredom, and can eventually cause a feeling of indifference to how your partner’s day really went.

If you don’t continually add new shared hobbies, and try to learn new things together, say the Good in Bed experts, it can lead to depression and even infidelity.

Go easy on the TV

A separate study published in the September edition of Mass Communication and Society shows that couples who are heavy TV watchers are in danger of harming their relationship.

After researchers examined 390 married couples it was learned that not only does frequent TV watching increase boredom and make it easier for routine to set in, some of the shows that have romantic themes can slowly cause a person to have unrealistic expectations about their relationship.

Also, researchers found that couples making television their daily form of entertainment can slowly start to believe in the phony romantic portrayals, and start to compare their relationship with those on TV. This can mean doom for any couple, say the researchers.

“In this study I found that people who believe the unrealistic portrayals on TV are actually less committed to their spouses and think their alternatives to their spouse are relatively attractive,” said Dr. Jeremy Osborn, who is the author of the study.

“We live in a society that perpetually immerses itself in media images from both TV and the web, but most people have no sense of the ways those images are impacting them. The rate of marriage failure in the U.S. is not dropping, and it is important for people to have a sense of what factors are leading to the failure of so many relationships," he said.

Story provided by ConsumerAffairs.

1
Text Only
Life
  • Red Cross in urgent need of donors

    The American Red Cross is facing a blood shortage, leading to an urgent need for donors of all blood types to roll up a sleeve and give.

    July 23, 2014

  • Vegetables need blanching before freezing Rain at the right time and cool weather is making for bountiful gardens, whether it be your own or produce that you buy at many of the local vegetable stands. While I am at the Elkhart County 4-H Fair, I know from past years, I will have many convers

    July 23, 2014

  • Briefly Translation to XTAGS failed

    July 23, 2014

  • GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Schrock boys could add some excitement to White House EDITOR’S NOTE: Rhonda’s Schrock’s column normally appears on Mondays, but was moved this week due to fair coverage.What a wonderful time of year. As I write, a summer rain is falling. Instead of bundling up in layers, tripling my normal circumference

    July 20, 2014

  • Puppy in perilfrom parvo Dear Dr. Weldy’s: My neighbor’s puppy is sick with parvovirus. Are my dogs at risk? What can you tell me about this illness?Dear reader: If your dogs are current on vaccines, they are at very little risk of contracting this virus. Parvovirus is a com

    July 20, 2014

  • SHADES OF GREEN: Educating future leaders in environmental issues is important Thinking about my future year at Goshen Middle School, I found this essay I wrote in 2009 that I will read often while working with my 12-year-old students.***I’ve had many mentors who have led me down my path of education. Ones who have inspired; on

    July 20, 2014

  • GN140720 whole family 01 A special memory on graduation day Today I get “pinned,” a nursing-school version of a graduation ceremony during which we say a pledge to take good care of people and grin goofy-like — I’m sure I will — as our favorite faculty gift us roses, handshakes, and a little gold broach.Oh, a

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • 'Staycation' a simple, but fun alternative One of the column topics that I get a lot of comments, compliments and feedback on is when I write about my vacation adventures (or should I say, misadventures?).Since I took a spring vacation this year and didn’t have any other plans to travel, I de

    July 19, 2014

  • Calls aboutlarge, green June bugs increasing The caller was a bit frantic as she described huge bugs flying all around her backyard, seemingly chasing her around as she tried to investigate what was going on near her garden. She described them as shiny green, and shaped somewhat like a Japanese

    July 18, 2014

  • GN140718 dirt on gardening grubs DIRT ON GARDENING: Grubs, left untreated, will continue to cause damage Bugs are a gardener’s worst nightmare — or seemingly so. Every year we are confronted with these pesky critters that enjoy eating the leaves and vegetation of our prized landscapes and vegetable gardens — sometimes even the vegetables themselves.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.
AP Video
Broncos Owner Steps Down Due to Alzheimer's US, UN Push Shuttle Diplomacy in Mideast Trump: DC Hotel Will Be Among World's Best Plane Crashes in Taiwan, Dozens Feared Dead Republicans Hold a Hearing on IRS Lost Emails Raw: Mourners Gather As MH17 Bodies Transported Robot Parking Valet Creates Stress-free Travel Raw: MH17 Bodies Arrive in Netherlands Raw: Fight Breaks Out in Ukraine Parliament Disabled Veterans Memorial Nearing Completion Last Mass Lynching in U.S. Remains Unsolved Home-sharing Programs Help Seniors Ex-NYC Mayor: US Should Allow Flights to Israel Clinton: "AIDS-Free Generation Within Our Reach" Judge Ponders Overturning Colo. Gay Marriage Ban Airlines Halt Travel to Israel Amid Violence Police Probing Brooklyn Bridge Flag Switch
Poll

Last weekend (July 12) the Goshen Parks Department held its Kid’s Try-athlon to promote childhood fitness and this week (July 18) the new bicycle trail is open to the fairgrounds in Goshen, offering residents a healthy way to get to the annual agriculture exposition. Have you joined the local fitness movement?

Yes, I work at eating healthy and exercising
No, I am happy with my fitness level
Changing my diet and exercise frequency is a work in progress
     View Results