Goshen News, Goshen, IN

Life

February 17, 2014

GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Olympic feats of the everyday need their own events at Sochi

(Continued)

In Sochi, they’re defying gravity, breaking sound barriers and twisting themselves into pretzels. All of which they can do because they have 0.5 percent body fat. That, plus their average age is 13. Or so it would seem.

And that’s why we will never be Olympians. Most of us are far past 13, and our percent body fat will never be confessed, not upon pain of death (thanks to that blasted cheese dip). All of this had me pondering the other day, which is when I took it to my friends.

“If you could add any event to the Olympics,” I said, “what would it be?”

“Jumping,” said one. “As in, jumping to conclusions. My husband’s a winner.”

I cringed. I hadn’t meant to stir up marital strife. On the sunny side, though, such jumping could be done in a sweat suit. There was, after all, that.

“Pedaling,” someone else suggested.

“Oh?” I thought. “Tour de France Olympic style?” I looked a little closer. Aha. “Back pedaling,” it said.

Well, now. That would open the Games right up. Suddenly, politicians could enter, age and body fat notwithstanding. It was no good cause for national pride, but we did have some who were awful quick to hit reverse when the finger test switched up.

How else could you explain the flip flops, backtracking and “180s” that happened in some campaigns? To Average Joe on his La-Z-Boy, it looked like such a flopper had resorted to the aforementioned finger test, a highly scientific method of determining public opinion with one wet finger and some wind.

It would be entertaining, all right, to watch the world’s leaders out pedal each other, but there had to be a place for the moms. That’s what I was thinking. For years, I’d begged IOC Chairman Mr. Rogge to add diaper changing to the schedule. Then a friend suggested one more. “How about grocery shopping with hungry children?”

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Life
  • THE PLAIN SIDE:Government reflects us

    Driver Ken said it game him goose bumps. I can see why. We are standing in Independence Hall in Philadelphia. This is the room where George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, the aged Benjamin Franklin, and all those other founding fathers stood. All at once.

    August 23, 2014

  • RELIGION BRIEFS: Aug. 23, 2014 Gordon Jensen, international evangelist, gospel singer and songwriter, will be at Northwood Chapel Aug. 24. He will sing and preach at the 11 a.m. worship service and again at the 6 p.m. evening service. Jensen has written songs such as “Redemption Draweth Nigh,” “He’s as Close as The Mention Of His Name” and “Written In Red.” The church is located at 28220 C.R. 52, Nappanee, one mile north of Nappanee on Ind. 19 and 1/4 mile west on C.R. 52. Those with questions may call 773-3509 or 773-7895.

    August 23, 2014

  • GLOBAL FAITHS: Syria tops list of Christian martyrdom in Pew study Last week’s Global Faiths column discussed the world’s most “church destroying” countries. It invites a look at those countries of the world where it’s hardest to be a Christian. The countries on these two lists are not the same, though the lists may overlap. “The top 10 nations ‘where Christians faced the most pressure and violence [in 2013] were North Korea, Somalia, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Maldives, Pakistan, Iran and Yemen’” (www.Christianity today.com/gleanings). North Korea has the dubious distinction of remaining at the top of this list for 10 years now.

    August 23, 2014

  • PASTOR'S PEN: How was the soul of America's funny man? Goodbye Robin Williams. Are you kiddin’ me!? I grew up on Mork and Mindy! I had never laughed before at the things Robin Williams made me laugh about. That’s because there had never been one like him before. As the old Rod Stewart song goes, his “ad-lib lines were well rehearsed.”

    August 23, 2014

  • CLUB NEWS Goshen Noon Kiwanis Meeting date: Aug. 19 Awards/recognition: Ron Altenhof and Hugh Reinhold, greeters; John Huber, song leader; Ron Schultz, pledge; Bryan Mierau, invocation; Angela Black, guest. Perfect attendance award winners were Tim Doyle, 25 y

    August 22, 2014

  • NWS 0824 Bryant 99 BD photo Briefly GOSHEN 99th birthday open house today Ruby Evelyn (Deafenbaugh) Bryant of Goshen will celebrate her 99th birthday at an open house today at the Bryant homestead from 2:30 to 5 p.m. Family and friends are invited to attend. She was born in Claypool, A

    August 22, 2014 2 Photos

  • PUBLIC RECORD Marriage license The following marriage licenses were filed in Elkhart County: Trevor J. Milliken, 22, and Emily A. Wagoner, 22, both of 71074 Conrad Road, Niles, Mich. Zachary M. Cox, 25, and Mashala K. Short, 21, both of 487 Brookside Manor, Goshen

    August 22, 2014

  • Lifelong Learning fall courses announced GOSHEN — The Lifelong Learning Institute of Elkhart County is offering fall courses. These short courses are designed to provide stimulating and affordable classes in many fields for active seniors. There are no tests or grades, and no previous studies or degrees are required.

    August 22, 2014

  • 2014 Junior Lawn and Garden.jpg LaGrange County youth finish well at tractor contest LAGRANGE — With all of its four contestants delivering competitive performances, the LaGrange County 4-H Tractor program continued its tradition of achievement in the annual Purdue Area XI 4-H Tractor Contest July 26 at the LaGrange County 4-H Fairgrounds.

    August 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • CORRECTION: Outdoor worship, barbecue at Goshen Christian Reformed Church not happening It was incorrectly reported in Wednesday's edition — the Briefly column on A3 — that Goshen Christian Reformed Church was to have an outdoor worship service and barbecue Thursday through Saturday. The event was submitted by a church with the same nam

    August 21, 2014

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Poll

Three Goshen elementary schools — Chandler, Chamberlain and West Goshen — are providing free meals to all students during the school year as part of the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Community Eligibility Provision of the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010. Nearly 80 percent of students at Chandler, 89 percent of students at Chamberlain and 78 percent of students at West Goshen already qualify for free or reduced-price lunches based on their family income. How do you feel about the new lunch program?

I think it’s a good idea to feed all the students free of charge
I think those who can afford it should pay for their school meals
I think all students should be required to pay for their school meals
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