Goshen News, Goshen, IN

October 12, 2013

Is my gun lazy or the media just misinformed?

— Today I opened my front door and placed my AR-15 sporting rifle just beside, provided it with a full magazine and plenty of extra ammunition and went back to chores around the house.

Throughout the day the UPS guy delivered a package, the mail came and many folks walked by on the sidewalk just outside the door. I went back to the door that evening and found the items by the door exactly where I had left them. I was totally confused at the fact that my gun had killed no one. It had not even loaded itself. My surprise was complete to say the least.

With all the media information that guns are dangerous and “guns kill people,” I am now sending my gun to a master gunsmith to be checked and also to my family doctor — The gunsmith to see if there is a mechanical problem and the doctor to see if maybe it’s depressed or has some kind of grave illness.

If they can’t find the problem then one of the following two scenarios are true: 1.) The media is greatly misinformed and totally ignorant to the fact that guns are an inanimate object capable of nothing bad unless in the hands of criminals; or 2.) I have the laziest gun in the country.

Now you will have to excuse me, I have to go and check on my silverware drawer. I hear that forks and spoons make people fat and I don’t want that on my conscience.

— Dan Stahly