Goshen News, Goshen, IN

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December 10, 2012

GROUNDS FOR INSANITY: Low speed in the tech age — do they have an app for that?

The scales of justice are out of whack. Wildly so, if you ask me.

Why is it that when the demands of life are at their peak, your energy’s gone? You’re shot. Pooped. Washed out like the sea at low tide, leaving nothing but a crab or two and a hank of stringy seaweed on your proverbial shoreline? How come?

Just when you’re working like a one-armed paperhanger to establish your career. Just as you’re knee deep in teenagers and college kids. Just at the time your financial needs are the greatest and you’re funneling buckets of money to your insurance guy, it hits you. You’re not a Mustang anymore. You’re an aging Chevy with several dings on the hood and some rust on the fender. Well, shoot.

In a perfect world, it would be different. Back when the earth was young (before the serpent slithered in and Eve took to stitching leaves), it wasn’t like this. But she did it. She up and bit the apple, and it’s been downhill from there.

Now it’s 2012, and we’re a long way from the Garden of Eden. In the extraordinary explosion of technology that we’ve seen, you’d think we’d have some solutions. You’d think.

Mr. Schrock recently purchased the newest generation of smart phones. This sharp little device can do everything but scratch your back and tie your shoes. Oh, and make your coffee, though a super-sweet application he found can find the nearest Starbucks. I just love technology.

One of his favorite apps is the weather one. With the flick of a fingertip, he can access the forecast for the week, the day and the hour. This eliminates the need to actually trot outside into the elements to determine what one’s wardrobe should be.

Finance guy that he is, he’s got a stock market app. This way, he can track the ups and downs of Wall Street.

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Goshen City Council member Dixie Robinson is asking residents to make an effort to clean up their yards this spring. The city’s Dial-A-Truck program is available to haul trash away. Do you think there are more unsightly properties in Goshen this year than five years ago?

Yes, I have noticed more problem properties
No, I have not noticed more problems
I think the problems are about the same as always
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